


An Asgardian’s Guide to Pop Culture

by imzadinot



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, Thor Odinson discovers human culture, as is Harry Potter, more specifically Thor discovers pop music, no really, there's no explanation for this, warnings: Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are part of his education
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:13:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imzadinot/pseuds/imzadinot
Summary: Without all the information, it could perhaps be blamed on Thor and his desire to fully integrate himself into Midgardian society and better understand the culture. However, the only reason Thor had ever learnt of Miley Cyrus was most definitely Clint.





	An Asgardian’s Guide to Pop Culture

**Author's Note:**

> I have no right to anything, I'm just borrowing a few things to play house. 
> 
> This came from a conversation with tumblr user @thepoorgroomsbride and I just had to write it instead of studying. 
> 
> There's no easy explanation for any of it, though no offence to Miley Cyrus is really meant.

The thing was, it was Clint’s fault.

Everything was Clint’s fault, as a rule, but this time it most definitely was.

And, without exaggerating, it might be the worst thing he’d ever done. Worse than the time he’d hidden a jar of peanut butter in the air vents, worse than the time he brought back one of Doom’s robotic creations to keep as a pet, worse even than the thing they-never-talk-about-under-any-circumstances-ever that resulted in a lifetime ban for all the Avengers from Malaysia.

It was, without a doubt, the worse thing to ever occur, to ever blight the tower, to ever happen to Tony’s eardrums.

It was pop music.

More specifically, it was the music of Miley Cyrus, and it was being blasted from every speaker within the tower, at the request of an actual Norse god.

Without all the information, it could, perhaps, be blamed on Thor and his desire to fully integrate himself into Midgardian society and better understand the culture. However the only reason Thor had ever learnt of Miley Cyrus was most definitely Clint.

It was Clint and his overly-concerning knowledge of early noughties children’s TV shows. For some reason, unknown to anyone but Clint, he’d taken it upon himself to introduce Thor to Hannah Montana, and now it was nine am and the only thing Tony had heard since seven pm the previous evening was Wrecking Ball.

Thor’s introduction to Hannah Montana had almost been entertaining. His jaw had dropped the first time the pre-teen pop star had transformed from plain old Miley Stewart to glamorously glitzy Hannah, and Tony had been left to explain that, ‘No, Midgardian’s don’t have magic’, and that it was clever costuming and a wig.

That had been five days ago. Since then, every season of Hannah Montana had been watched — including the films — and her music blasted on repeat. Then, Thor discovered the actress who’d played Hannah/Miley had music of her own, and the last few tattered shreds of Tony’s sanity had promptly jumped from the rooftop.

And the thing was, there was no stopping it. Jarvis had stupidly, stupidly been programmed to allow/encourage/assist in Thor’s understanding of Midgardian culture and Jarvis had always had a faintly cruel streak, so any commands to stop the music were ignored. Tony was sort of at fault there, he’d written the code that meant only Thor could stop the music, but he’d admittedly never foreseen a circumstance where a centuries-old god from another realm would develop an obsession with pop music from two thousand and thirteen.

Natasha had a solution. Unfortunately, it wasn’t murdering Clint, though she did plan on killing something. However, destroying the sound system of the entire tower would potentially affect Jarvis through feedback, and so Tony was loath to rip out all of the integrated speakers. Not to mention the cost of the rebuilding doing so would require. It could be done, but the contractors Tony had on speed dial were already busy repairing Bruce’s suite after the other guy had objected to Party In The USA, and he was pretty sure they were one more incident away from quitting.

Meaning that they were stuck listening to Thor’s attempts to learn all the words to Wrecking Ball. Small mercies were that Thor hadn’t yet discovered music videos and so they were all currently being spared that additional trauma.

There was another solution, but Steve had already discounted it and forbidden them from killing Thor. He’d said something about it being wrong and underhand and petty, not to mention the fact that no one was really sure if anything could actually kill Thor.

Tony was willing to try. He was pretty sure he could get Natasha on board, Bruce had left after the first Hulk related incident so his opinion was open to interpretation, Sam wouldn’t be on Cap’s side after four days of this, and Clint would be too dead to say anything otherwise.

It could work.

It totally could.

Only, and Tony was blaming the prolonged exposure and sleep deprivation for this, the music was sort of…catchy.

He’d die before he’d ever admit it — and he was genius so, of course, he picked things up easily — but he might, maybe, possibly now know all the words to the stupid song.

He’d caught himself humming it when he was halfway through reviewing the soundproofing in place, dead set on upgrading it so that maybe something, anything could be done, only to stop suddenly. Realising that the music, if it could even be called that, was growing on him only inspired him to redouble his efforts, though there wasn’t technically an issue with the soundproofing, only who could control the speakers, and currently, Thor controlled all of them.

Rewriting Jarvis’ code was another possibility, though most of the code for this had been written years ago when Tony was drunk or high or both, and the last thing he wanted to do was mess around with something he might not be able to fix.

And so there was nothing to be done. Not a single thing, except put up with Miley Cyrus’ heartbroken breakdown and hope that Thor would soon move on to another obsession, pray to well...him that he’d next decide to delve into Harry Potter or something a little quieter.

Someone could also suggest that, maybe, Thor didn’t need to utilise every speaker in the tower to enjoy his music, but who actually wanted to be the asshole to rain on the guy’s parade?

This reasoning was again Steve’s, though even Tony could tell that the Star Spangled Man With A Plan was starting to disagree with that.

**

Officially, of course, an invasion of Manhattan by Dr Doom and his army of robotic cats was a very bad thing. Unofficially, it was the best thing to happen to the Avengers all week.

Getting the summons to suit up and deal with the calamity of the week meant that, for a blessed moment, the music shut off and silence reigned. Then there was an army of murderous robots to deal with, but it could be done without hearing the dulcet tones of Miley Cyrus and Tony would take it.

Never before had he thought of battle against a horde of homicidal automatons as a welcome respite, but stranger things had happened.

Stranger still was the silence of the tower when they returned after smashing an army of robotic pets, a silence that lasted well into the night and throughout the following day, but it wasn’t to be questioned.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth and all that.

**

It was Clint’s fault.

Of course, it was.

It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever done; the list was long and ever-increasing and there would never anything worse than him introducing Miley Cyrus to a god, but this was a close second.

Nothing was more terrifying than having a magically indestructible hammer come flying past your face, summoned by its owner with a shout of, “Accio.”

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts?


End file.
